Tips to control your child's tantrum
One of the behaviors that most destabilize us parents is our child's tantrums . These are common manifestations of children when they feel frustration, fear, anger or sadness. The reaction consists of screaming and crying and even falling to the ground and kicking . But then how can we control children's tantrums?
Our children often call attention to this negative behavior to protest something with which they do not agree. Parents in those moments usually do not know what to do, we feel lost. Totally avoiding tantrums is impossible for a 2- to 6-year-old child, but we can try to prevent a possible tantrum. But sometimes it is difficult to know what situations are going to cause a tantrum and sometimes we find ourselves in a complicated situation surrounded by strange people .
“Tantrums, or disproportionate emotional reactions to a certain situation, appear to be universal in child development and appear to be more than just a nuisance in child care. Children who have a history of frequent and intense tantrums are at risk of developing more serious emotional and behavioral disorders later in childhood , ”explains the Tantrums and Anxiety in Young Children study. A preliminary study .
Tips to control our child's tantrum
Knowing how to react to the behavior of a child having a good tantrum is difficult. They can yell, kick, and even hit others or themselves. In addition, many times we tend to be away from home, such as in a shopping center or a supermarket. We can't lose our nerves and scream for him to calm down. We are going to give you 6 practical tips that experts recommend to control our child's tantrum and that usually work.
1. Prepare the outputs
Our child must know where we are going before leaving home. If we are going to go shopping at a hypermarket, for example, we can go over the itinerary with him first. This way you will not be caught off guard and you will adapt to our plan without problems. You may not feel like it but we have made the plan chosen by the family clear to you and it will not be a surprise . To help us control the tantrum, we also need to make sure that he has eaten enough and is rested. If he is hungry or tired, he will make us stop to eat something or he will complain all the time because he cannot walk.
2. Keep calm
When a child starts to have a tantrum, they don't care if they are at a family meal or in a crowded mall. We always have to stay calm. We must not fight fire with fire . Scolding or yelling at him will only make the situation worse. The best thing is to downplay their behavior and take it with resignation. Try to make him stop his attitude by trying to understand him through dialogue. If our son sees that we are calm, he will calm down and change his behavior.
3 . Let it vent
To control our son's tantrum, it is best to take him to a different place from where the tantrum started ; a technique that usually works and allows the child to vent until little by little he feels calmer. We can only establish a dialogue with him when he is calmer and can listen to our arguments. To reassure him, we can talk to him calmly and explain that we understand the reason that caused his anger but that it will only be possible to speak if he calms down. He should never be threatened that if he doesn't stop the tantrum we will walk away.
4. Speak calmly
We have to calmly explain to our son that his attitude is not correct. We can approach him, look him in the eyes frankly and in a calm tone explain the reason why we cannot buy him what he wants. For example, if he wants a chocolate bar and he has not eaten, we have to make him understand that he will have to eat first.
5. Do not give in to your request
The most important thing is that we do not give our son what he asks for at that moment . You have to understand that your request is unacceptable . If we give it to him, he will show the same negative attitude in another similar situation. The more explanations we give, the child will change his attitude. It does not matter if it is 2 or 5 years old. If we don't give up and stand firm in our position, our child will eventually calm down. We can think of a punishment that he will have to fulfill but we must also show him that we still love him even if he has behaved badly. Of course, the punishment must be firm and appropriate for their behavior and their age.
6. First of all patience
Finally, the best advice to control children's tantrums is to be patient. If we see that he does not overcome the situation, we can leave him with a relative, move away for a while and return more calmly. First of all, we must avoid entering a spiral of screaming with our son . A good idea is to talk to the people who regularly care for the child and ask them to use the same technique in similar situations. If that negative behavior is working for him with another adult, he will surely repeat it again.
Also read more about "Avoiding Toddler Tantrums"
Our children often call attention to this negative behavior to protest something with which they do not agree. Parents in those moments usually do not know what to do, we feel lost. Totally avoiding tantrums is impossible for a 2- to 6-year-old child, but we can try to prevent a possible tantrum. But sometimes it is difficult to know what situations are going to cause a tantrum and sometimes we find ourselves in a complicated situation surrounded by strange people .
“Tantrums, or disproportionate emotional reactions to a certain situation, appear to be universal in child development and appear to be more than just a nuisance in child care. Children who have a history of frequent and intense tantrums are at risk of developing more serious emotional and behavioral disorders later in childhood , ”explains the Tantrums and Anxiety in Young Children study. A preliminary study .
Tips to control our child's tantrum
Knowing how to react to the behavior of a child having a good tantrum is difficult. They can yell, kick, and even hit others or themselves. In addition, many times we tend to be away from home, such as in a shopping center or a supermarket. We can't lose our nerves and scream for him to calm down. We are going to give you 6 practical tips that experts recommend to control our child's tantrum and that usually work.
1. Prepare the outputs
Our child must know where we are going before leaving home. If we are going to go shopping at a hypermarket, for example, we can go over the itinerary with him first. This way you will not be caught off guard and you will adapt to our plan without problems. You may not feel like it but we have made the plan chosen by the family clear to you and it will not be a surprise . To help us control the tantrum, we also need to make sure that he has eaten enough and is rested. If he is hungry or tired, he will make us stop to eat something or he will complain all the time because he cannot walk.
2. Keep calm
When a child starts to have a tantrum, they don't care if they are at a family meal or in a crowded mall. We always have to stay calm. We must not fight fire with fire . Scolding or yelling at him will only make the situation worse. The best thing is to downplay their behavior and take it with resignation. Try to make him stop his attitude by trying to understand him through dialogue. If our son sees that we are calm, he will calm down and change his behavior.
3 . Let it vent
To control our son's tantrum, it is best to take him to a different place from where the tantrum started ; a technique that usually works and allows the child to vent until little by little he feels calmer. We can only establish a dialogue with him when he is calmer and can listen to our arguments. To reassure him, we can talk to him calmly and explain that we understand the reason that caused his anger but that it will only be possible to speak if he calms down. He should never be threatened that if he doesn't stop the tantrum we will walk away.
4. Speak calmly
We have to calmly explain to our son that his attitude is not correct. We can approach him, look him in the eyes frankly and in a calm tone explain the reason why we cannot buy him what he wants. For example, if he wants a chocolate bar and he has not eaten, we have to make him understand that he will have to eat first.
5. Do not give in to your request
The most important thing is that we do not give our son what he asks for at that moment . You have to understand that your request is unacceptable . If we give it to him, he will show the same negative attitude in another similar situation. The more explanations we give, the child will change his attitude. It does not matter if it is 2 or 5 years old. If we don't give up and stand firm in our position, our child will eventually calm down. We can think of a punishment that he will have to fulfill but we must also show him that we still love him even if he has behaved badly. Of course, the punishment must be firm and appropriate for their behavior and their age.
6. First of all patience
Finally, the best advice to control children's tantrums is to be patient. If we see that he does not overcome the situation, we can leave him with a relative, move away for a while and return more calmly. First of all, we must avoid entering a spiral of screaming with our son . A good idea is to talk to the people who regularly care for the child and ask them to use the same technique in similar situations. If that negative behavior is working for him with another adult, he will surely repeat it again.
Also read more about "Avoiding Toddler Tantrums"
